With each 1st day of school

izzyfirstdays

Dear Izzy, Max, and Kate,

I’m struggling for words of late.

Unfortunately that’s meant fewer letters to you kids.

There are a lot of reasons why, but mostly it’s because life is good right now.

I’ve written a couple of letters to you lately trying to explain all of this. But I’ve deleted them.

The short of it is:

We’re busy. We’re happy. And it turns out that busy and happy cause me to focus on things outside of my own thoughts, and my lifelong thirst to put them into words so that I can understand them.

I don’t need to understand anymore, but I do need to keep writing to you.

The original reason I started this; so that you would know me and know our life as a family one day when you’re grown.

Somewhere during the struggle of learning to listen to God’s voice I actually heard it.

The same familiar roar of a boulder strewn mountain river rushing right past me.

on a  moonless night

Into the dark.

The other side of the mountain, somewhere.

Maybe.

Or close enough for me to feel the spray of cold foam and mist

against my face turned up towards the sky.

Eyes closed.

Deeper into the night than my eyes can see.

But there.

That’s God’s voice in my life. It’s always like that I think. And for some reason it always feels like a river in the darkness. Or being driven deep into the ocean by the heavy thunder of  waves until the water feels like ice and light fades and then bursting forth to the surface again.

I’m sure everyone’s experience is different. You tune in around my age though and realize the voice has always been there.

Izzy, you started 4th grade this week.

I heard that river rushing past me the day you were born. On your birthdays. On the day you broke your arms on the playground. At every swim meet and gymnastics meet. When you sing in your programs at school.

And with each 1st day of school.

I love you,

- Daddy

TRAINING: (beginning my “off season”. More on that, plus a race recap from Mt. Lakes  later)

Sat: Mt. Lakes Triathlon

Sun: none

Mon: none

Tues: Swam 1000 (all pull, back, breast, or fly) / Lifted weights

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